Happiness or Joy

If you follow me on Twitter this one will look familiar. I wanted to collect some of my Bible study threads in one place where I can find them again. This particular study is important to me because I think we can all get caught up in the fact we are currently unhappy and forget that happiness isn’t joy. I know I’ll need a reminder of what I’ve learned.

“All that my eyes desired I did not refuse them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart was pleased because of all my labor and this was my reward for all my labor. Thus I considered all my activities which my hands had done and the labor which I had exerted, and behold all was vanity and striving after wind and there was no profit under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

I’ve been thinking about happiness vs joy a lot lately. The world is so fixed on happiness. They preach, “Do what makes you happy” and “If it doesn’t make you happy toss it.” The thing is, happiness is circumstantial, thus fleeting. It is an impermanent state and subject to change at any moment. Like the Bible says, it’s like chasing the wind.

Joy isn’t the same. Joy is something the Bible tells us we can hold onto even in the midst of trials. We won’t feel happy, but we can consider the bad things going on with joy because we know this isn’t all there is.

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation.”
1 Peter 4:12-13

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

“For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.” Romans 8:24-25

Hope, like joy, isn’t dependent on what’s going on in our lives. You don’t hope for what you have, you hope for what you know is to come. Lately someone tried to convince me I’m depressed. This is because, unlike my public persona, I am not happy ALL of the time. I’m human.

The thing is, I’m not depressed. I WAS depressed. Before I had my son I was definitely chasing the wind. I had fallen on some hard times and had some fellow Christians make harsh judgements. Instead of chalking it up to their humanity, I ran from the church and directly into the arms of chasing happiness. Chasing happiness apart from God will make anyone depressed. More so when you know in your gut that this isn’t the answer.

After having C, everything clicked in my head and I realized how utterly foolish I had been. I got back into my studies and found the JOY that I had misplaced. These days I may be stressed. There is a lot going on in my life at the moment that weighs on my heart, but I’m not depressed. I have hope, and I have joy. Those have never left me, nor will they ever leave, because neither are based in worldly things.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.” Phil 4:4

“Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.” Romans 5:2

I need to spend more time being anxious for nothing. That’s something I’m working on. I’m working on it through study and prayer. My choice is to trust in the Lord, to consider my struggles with joy because I know they are helping me learn how to hand my worries over to God.

“But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” 1 Peter 4:13

Don’t let the world get you caught up chasing happiness. They don’t understand what joy and real hope is, or the wonder both can add to your life, even when you aren’t currently happy.

“In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;”
1 Peter 1:6-7

Real joy is in God.

“You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.” Psalms 16:11

Why I Turn to Scripture

It seems that everything is relative these days. Everyone is “living their truth” and everything, from literature to your own actions, is open to interpretation by everyone.

However, the Bible is pretty clear that its meaning is not open to individual interpretation. The Bible makes some pretty lofty claims, which you either have to accept completely or not; there is no halfway with the Bible.

I’m not saying this to be confrontational. There is a sense of security in knowing there is something in this world that doesn’t change. Something that is solid and immovable.

The psalms say “The grass withers and the flowers fade but the Word is the Lord stands forever.”

There is a hymn that goes “On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.” I sang this often as a child but didn’t really appreciate the idea of God and His word being a solid rock until recently. Change can be exciting and good, but when it comes at you quickly and everything feels like it’s changing at once, you feel a little unstable, sinking into stress and anxiety.

Having a baby definitely did that to me. My whole world changed and nothing, including my own body, was the same. You never really think about how adding another person into your family changes everything, including your relationship. Then we moved!

My world was feeling extremely unstable. That was when I finally decided to seek God. The Bible is right, as it always is, that when I am weak I finally allow God to work in my life.

In a world where everyone claims life to be shades of gray, the Bible stands firm. There is right and wrong and it is not open for interpretation. There is one God and it’s not open for interpretation. Jesus said “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but through Me.” The Bible also says, “So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.” Hebrews‬ ‭6:18-19‬ ‭‭

It is incredibly assuring to know that we have an unchanging hope that can anchor our souls and a refuge in an all powerful unchanging God. This is why I turn to scripture when my world feels like it’s unstable. God’s promises are unchanging.

 

 

A Rainbow Baby

Do you know what they call a pregnancy that happens shortly after a miscarriage?  They call that a rainbow baby.  It’s like the rainbow after the storm, the storm (the tears).  I am uncertain if you have to wait until the baby is born for that title or not, but I stumbled across this term recently because, after my last post about my miscarriage, I learned a couple months after that I was pregnant again.

I’m now into my second trimester, about four months along, and within the “safe zone” of talking about everything.

Getting pregnant after a miscarriage feels a lot more complicated.

The first time you get pregnant you are elated.  You want to share the news with the world instantly.  We even sent photos of that little pink stick and its “Yes” with the family.  This time around, there was a lot of trepidation.  A miscarriage is a loss, plain and simple, and along with that loss comes a lot of disappointment and grief, no matter when it happens.  I saw the pink “yes” this time and my first thought, as much as I hated it, was, “Don’t get your hopes up.”

That first trimester was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. Of course I was still excited, but I was also extremely scared that it would result in more disappointment and pain and I just wasn’t willing to let myself hope. We told only our parents, and mostly because I was going to be visiting mine and denying my usual glass of wine so I figured they’d guess right away anyway.  We honestly weren’t going to tell anyone else until the second trimester, but some friends came to visit and figured it out.

They were wonderful because they told me that, while they understand not wanting to have to tell EVERYONE about a miscarriage, they really care about us and they want to be there for us.  They both felt that any good friend would want to know right away so they can rejoice with you, and so they can mourn with you if anything should happen.  They said I should never have to go through all that alone. Nearly had me crying into my Sunday brunch, but I’m very glad they did.

Now I’m in the second trimester and while I certainly let out a huge sigh of relief, not even realizing I had been holding my breathe (metaphorically) for 13 weeks, I also realized that my trepidation won’t go away completely.

I’m much more excited now, don’t get me wrong.  Once we got into the second trimester I was much more willing to talk baby names, and think about baby supplies (not purchase but think about), all the things I started to do way too early last time.  There is still just a small part of me that anxiously waits for the next appointment so I can hear that the heartbeat is still there and still going strong.  I’m not sure if that will go away.

The ultrasound lady (I should know her name but I don’t) told me that those fears don’t go away, even after the baby is born. You just have a whole new set of worries.

Becoming a parent, even while the baby is still incubating, is a pretty scary business. I’m very thankful for all of the love and support we have through friends and family.  I don’t know how I’d get through any of this without them.  I really hope that anyone who stumbles across my blog learns that it is okay to share both the joy of pregnancy, and the pain of miscarriage.  There is an old proverb I once read on a Good Earth tea bag, because lots of my wisdom comes from random places.  It says, “Shared joy is double joy, and shared sorrow half sorrow.”  Maybe I shared this when I wrote about my miscarriage last November.  I honestly don’t remember. However, I can certainly say that when I shared my sorrow my friends and family shared it with me and that definitely helped to cut that grief in half.  I am also very thankful to be able to share my joy, and to see that joy double even through all my fears because it is shared by those I care about.

Thank you everyone, for helping me to allow myself to hope and to double my joy about this new baby. There’s been a lot of tears, but this time it is all happy tears I promise.