Grief, Miscarriage, and Doctors

I’ve been rather MIA lately. That’s because I found out I was pregnant, and I was so excited I was afraid I would spill the beans before the second trimester.

There is a reason women wait until the second trimester. I now know why.

Blighted Ovum, it’s called. It’s a rather fancy name for a miscarriage. It actually makes up about 50% of miscarriages.  My doctor explained it as, there is no embryo.  She said there was never any baby. There was a pregnancy, everything else was there, but the baby was missing.

The thing is, after much research, that isn’t quite the case.

There was something, at first.

There was a sperm, and there was an egg, and they did join and create a yolk sack and symptoms and everything. It’s not that there wasn’t a baby, it’s just that the chromosomes didn’t work out, and what resulted couldn’t be carried to term.

This was when I realized that, next time (and trust me, there will be a next time), next time I want a pro-life doctor.

It’s not that I feel everyone needs a pro-life doctor.

It’s just that, I’m pro-life, and I need someone who shares my views.  If you are pro-choice, then you need a pro-choice doctor.  This is because when the worst happens.  When you are told that you are at the beginning stages of a miscarriage, you need someone who can comfort you.

My doctor tried.

She really did!

I know that, for her, saying it was never a baby was comforting. For her, for someone who is pro-choice, this concept is incredibly comforting.  I can see that, even in my grief.

However, that isn’t my belief system.

For me what was comforting was reading an article about blighted ovum.  The author said, “This is a loss.  You should allow yourself to grieve.”

For me this was comforting. Because for me, this was a loss.  This was devastating.  We were SO excited.  We even moved the house around, to  make room for the baby.  For me, I do need to grieve.  This wasn’t all fake. This wasn’t in my head.  My body went through real changes.  For eight weeks, I was pregnant.  Now, I’m not.  Even though I didn’t need it, I needed permission to grieve.

This is why, next time, I need to find a doctor who shares my views.  It’s not that my current doctor didn’t try.  It’s not that she is a bad person. She comforted me as best she could. She tried to make it easier.  However, when you don’t share the same views… you just don’t know what kind of comfort that person needed.

I needed to hear that I lost a baby. A real baby. I needed to hear that it is okay to feel sad.  I needed to hear that it is okay to be very upset, because I am. I am very, very upset.

My husband and I will try again.

The doctor was very encouraging. She said everything was healthy.  From my reading I have learned that this usually happens only once.  That I have NO reason not to believe that we can have a successful pregnancy.  I am hopeful.  I really am. Even while I’m in the middle of a terrible tragedy.

I’m just a little wiser now.  I really know now why people don’t tell until the second trimester. I’ve known loss… just not like this.

It won’t keep me down forever though.  I promise. I just really need my time to grieve.

Chicken with Green Olives and Seasoned Rice

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This dish was very flavorful!  It has some wonderful flavors and while the cooking was easy the seasonings make it very impressive.

Namon found the recipe through New York Times Cooking, which can be found here: New York Times Cooking

He majorly modified the recipe, so here is a screenshot of the recipe with all of his notes:

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And of course you can watch our Sunday (I know it’s Monday, but we filmed it last night) episode of Cooking with Namon to hear all of his tips.

As always, let us know what you think and if you tried it and what changes you would make to improve the recipe!

Thanks for watching, everyone!

No Shame in Modifying 

This morning, I felt about as weak as this kitten! We jumped back into the main workouts after a very lazy recovery week where we didn’t workout for four days.

I did three recovery workouts, but it was not enough to prepare me for Block 3 of P90X3!

We did Decelerator, which is not very well named because this workout packs a serious punch. I thought when you decelerate you slow things down, but this workout really intensifies everything and the moves are much, much, MUCH more complicated.

I had to modify everything.

Not just modify, but modify what the modifier was doing.

There is no shame in modifying, y’all. 

Modifying doesn’t mean I’m not pushing myself. I am. So are you! Modifying means that this is a move, or an entire workout routine, that I am currently struggling with. 

The struggle itself is the workout.

I won’t always have to modify for Decelerator. As my muscles build and my coordination improves, I’ll be able to do more and more. I just have to stay focused and not feel defeated that I have to modify.

Hang in there everyone! You will be surprised how quickly you grow! Just look at Yuki! She was even smaller than Mjulnir when we got her, and now she is a strong and fierce cat!

Getting Back on the Horse

Well I’m back!

Namon and I had a family thing in Indiana, and once there I really didn’t have much time for posting… or exercise. 😣

I was totally off the wagon, and ate some deliciously awful things for me! Fries, burgers, and in my special case some amazing full gluten bread that ruined two full days for me and still has my gut twisted up. 

Bread, why won’t you let me love you?

When you fall off the workout wagon it is extra hard to climb back on. You know that it is gonna hurt, and you’ve tasted the sweet life of Netflix and pizza. This is when you need to grit your teeth and push yourself.

The day after we got home I went right back to P90X3.

Thankfully the four days I missed were recovery days, so mostly stretching and light cardio.

Yesterday was Isometrics (which felt so impossible when the week before it felt easy) and today was Dynamics which went better.

At least, once you started a habit, getting back into it doesn’t take as long as it did when you first began.

It was wonderful to see family and pick up Mjulnir, the newest fur baby, but it was also good to get back to my routine.

Hang in there folks! And know that you can always get back on the wagon after a fall. It happens to all of us!

Here is Mjulnir, after his first vet visit, poor baby!

Homemade Risotto Bianco

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This was delicious!  I love risotto!  I thought this was a more difficult recipe, but you will see that Namon claims it is easy just time consuming.

You get the extra video tonight because I have a breakfast video to post for tomorrow, and then I will be making a stew on Thursday. Hopefully! 😉

For this risotto Namon used the chicken stock he made in another video, white wine, rice (he will tell you which kind), salt and pepper and parmesan cheese.

Actually here, just see the video:

This is gluten free, but not dairy free.  We discuss a little about how you can maybe make it dairy free.

Let us know if you try it!  How did it work for you? How would you improve this? 🙂 Let me know in the comments below!

12 Minute Chicken Stir Fry

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As promised, Namon’s quick chicken stir fry!

We actually really like this one.  We may make it a regular thing.  In the following video, I make a lot of witty (ha, yeah right) commentary. 🙂 I can’t help it, I’m a smart@$$.  I’m very lucky Namon suffers my jokes. Just a warning, I DO say… S… H… I.. T… Sorry! I’m horrible when I’m not checking myself. Like, way worse than this.  Just know, the word is in the video.

Click here to see Namon prepare and cook this meal.

Okay, once you watch the video, and hear my LOVELY puns, this is the recipe Namon made up himself and then followed.

You will need (Ingredients) :

1 -2 chicken breasts

½ large zucchini sliced

2 cloves garlic minced

Green onions minced

Assorted mushrooms sliced

¼ cup chicken stock

Salt

Cayenne pepper

Instructions:

In a hot pan, add rice oil.  Add garlic and zucchini.  Season with salt and cayenne pepper.  Cook until beginning to tender.  Add green onion.  Continue to cook until green onion begins to soften.  Remove contents of pan to a dish.

Add some more oil, add the chicken.  Season with salt and cayenne pepper.  Cook until you can no longer see pink.  Add mushrooms.  Once mushrooms begin to soften, add chicken stock.  Continue to cook until mushrooms are cooked through and sauce thickens.

Add vegetables pack into pan.  Heat and combine.

Serve.

Again, this was wonderful!  We will be eating this more! 🙂

Thank you for watching!  We really appreciate everyone who has followed us.  Give us your feedback. How did the recipe go for you? How did you improve upon it? Let us learn from you by commenting in the comments section below.

Happy Saturday, reader!

I don’t always wanna 


So… this photo was before this morning’s workout.

I don’t always WANT to do my workouts. Honestly, there are a LOT of mornings I just want to stay in bed. I LOVE my sleep. I never feel I have enough, and my natural inclination is to stay in bed.

I am lucky. I have Namon.

The benefits of a workout partner is having that person who will drag you through those days when you just. Don’t. Wanna.

There are mornings where I am the one with resolve. When it’s my turn, I insist that no, really, we should just get up and do it.

I think no matter how far you get in your goals, you will always have the day where you just don’t want to do it.

Those are the days you have to fight harder for your goals. You have to get up, put on your gear, tighten your shoes, and say I’m gonna do this.

I hope you have a Namon in your life. Maybe it isn’t a life partner. It could be a friend, a trainer, or a Beachbody coach. Who ever it is, I hope you have that support.

As a Beachbody coach, I’m happy to have MY support, so I can turn around and be that support for my clients!

How was your Saturday? Talk to me, I’m here to listen! I can even be that support if you need it!

Do The Yoga!

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I am quoting MY Beachbody coach here, for he has his moments of great wisdom. (Hi Rob 😉 )  Do the yoga!

When you finally make that commitment to workout, sometimes it can feel that every day has to be an intense day.  I’ll be honest, I was like that for my first month.  All through phase one of P90X3, if there was a “light” day, I would add a 2 mile run so I felt like I worked hard.

The thing is, the body NEEDS light days so it can heal itself from all the beatdown it took during your intense days. Monday and Tuesday were INTENSE days for me, and let me tell you I FEEL it.  Everything is tight!  When I saw X3 Yoga on my schedule I was SO relieved.

After stretching for 30 minutes I’m feeling a lot better. No run for me today, I have to let those muscles relax and rebuild.  I’ll have plenty of work for them tomorrow.

No matter what you do for your workouts, if you are a gym goer, or a runner, or a Beachbody person like me, I really hope that you save a day during the week were you dial it down a little and stretch.  Getting healthy means taking care of yourself and listening to your body when it needs to slow down and heal.

I hope you all have a fantastic Wednesday!  I am off to explore a carousel museum with some friends and their kiddos.  I’m not really sure what to expect, I mean, carousels are fun when functioning, but kinda creepy when they are just sittin around.  Should be a good day!