As Iron Sharpens Iron…

… so a good friend sharpens a friend (Proverbs 27:17).

Would you believe I am painfully shy? If you know me in person I know this seems extremely doubtful, but it’s true.

Throughout most of my childhood I could barely stand interacting with cashiers much less approach anyone to become friends. When I was 16 I went to my first real away from home camp. There the owner of the camp brought all new campers to the highest point on the island and told us that we had the rare opportunity to reinvent ourselves that week. No one there knew who we were yet. There was no history, no labels, we could attempt to be the people we admired and no one would know the difference.

That week I worked extremely hard to be warm and friendly and outgoing.

It helped a lot, and it was something I kept up when I got back to “real life”. I got my first job, and eventually got into college, and the roller coaster of growing up kept throwing me into situations where people were always present so I could continue to practice this skill of being outgoing.

Then I finished grad school for the second time and was unemployed for a year. The shyness started creeping back in. I got my teaching job in Louisiana and met some of the best people which brought me out of my shell, until we moved.

It’s been two years of working at home and living in cities far away from family and friends and that shyness is definitely looming. I know I need friends. Physical, close by, in person people I can talk to and call up for help and confide in. I need this! It’s just SO hard to shake off the apprehension of going out into new situations to meet these potential new friends. When you were the kid who couldn’t look cashiers in the eye while paying for your candy bar, venturing out to a mommy and me gym and striking up conversations feels like an impossible task. Trying out new churches when your husband works nights and won’t be with you suddenly makes the term “shrinking violet” make so much more sense. I swear I can feel my body collapsing in on itself as I try to make myself smaller and smaller so I can sneak away.

Fighting this battle at 16 seemed hard, but at 37 it feels impossible!

This is where I have to take a deep breath and remember I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. He tells me pretty clearly that I need friends. God isn’t going to give me a command without standing by me and giving me the strength to follow it out.

Deep breath, another sip of coffee. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

 

A Rainbow Baby

Do you know what they call a pregnancy that happens shortly after a miscarriage?  They call that a rainbow baby.  It’s like the rainbow after the storm, the storm (the tears).  I am uncertain if you have to wait until the baby is born for that title or not, but I stumbled across this term recently because, after my last post about my miscarriage, I learned a couple months after that I was pregnant again.

I’m now into my second trimester, about four months along, and within the “safe zone” of talking about everything.

Getting pregnant after a miscarriage feels a lot more complicated.

The first time you get pregnant you are elated.  You want to share the news with the world instantly.  We even sent photos of that little pink stick and its “Yes” with the family.  This time around, there was a lot of trepidation.  A miscarriage is a loss, plain and simple, and along with that loss comes a lot of disappointment and grief, no matter when it happens.  I saw the pink “yes” this time and my first thought, as much as I hated it, was, “Don’t get your hopes up.”

That first trimester was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. Of course I was still excited, but I was also extremely scared that it would result in more disappointment and pain and I just wasn’t willing to let myself hope. We told only our parents, and mostly because I was going to be visiting mine and denying my usual glass of wine so I figured they’d guess right away anyway.  We honestly weren’t going to tell anyone else until the second trimester, but some friends came to visit and figured it out.

They were wonderful because they told me that, while they understand not wanting to have to tell EVERYONE about a miscarriage, they really care about us and they want to be there for us.  They both felt that any good friend would want to know right away so they can rejoice with you, and so they can mourn with you if anything should happen.  They said I should never have to go through all that alone. Nearly had me crying into my Sunday brunch, but I’m very glad they did.

Now I’m in the second trimester and while I certainly let out a huge sigh of relief, not even realizing I had been holding my breathe (metaphorically) for 13 weeks, I also realized that my trepidation won’t go away completely.

I’m much more excited now, don’t get me wrong.  Once we got into the second trimester I was much more willing to talk baby names, and think about baby supplies (not purchase but think about), all the things I started to do way too early last time.  There is still just a small part of me that anxiously waits for the next appointment so I can hear that the heartbeat is still there and still going strong.  I’m not sure if that will go away.

The ultrasound lady (I should know her name but I don’t) told me that those fears don’t go away, even after the baby is born. You just have a whole new set of worries.

Becoming a parent, even while the baby is still incubating, is a pretty scary business. I’m very thankful for all of the love and support we have through friends and family.  I don’t know how I’d get through any of this without them.  I really hope that anyone who stumbles across my blog learns that it is okay to share both the joy of pregnancy, and the pain of miscarriage.  There is an old proverb I once read on a Good Earth tea bag, because lots of my wisdom comes from random places.  It says, “Shared joy is double joy, and shared sorrow half sorrow.”  Maybe I shared this when I wrote about my miscarriage last November.  I honestly don’t remember. However, I can certainly say that when I shared my sorrow my friends and family shared it with me and that definitely helped to cut that grief in half.  I am also very thankful to be able to share my joy, and to see that joy double even through all my fears because it is shared by those I care about.

Thank you everyone, for helping me to allow myself to hope and to double my joy about this new baby. There’s been a lot of tears, but this time it is all happy tears I promise.

Getting Back on the Horse

Well I’m back!

Namon and I had a family thing in Indiana, and once there I really didn’t have much time for posting… or exercise. 😣

I was totally off the wagon, and ate some deliciously awful things for me! Fries, burgers, and in my special case some amazing full gluten bread that ruined two full days for me and still has my gut twisted up. 

Bread, why won’t you let me love you?

When you fall off the workout wagon it is extra hard to climb back on. You know that it is gonna hurt, and you’ve tasted the sweet life of Netflix and pizza. This is when you need to grit your teeth and push yourself.

The day after we got home I went right back to P90X3.

Thankfully the four days I missed were recovery days, so mostly stretching and light cardio.

Yesterday was Isometrics (which felt so impossible when the week before it felt easy) and today was Dynamics which went better.

At least, once you started a habit, getting back into it doesn’t take as long as it did when you first began.

It was wonderful to see family and pick up Mjulnir, the newest fur baby, but it was also good to get back to my routine.

Hang in there folks! And know that you can always get back on the wagon after a fall. It happens to all of us!

Here is Mjulnir, after his first vet visit, poor baby!

Some Days are Harder than Others

I do not motivate well alone, y’all!

Namon was out of town this morning, so it was up to me to wake up, move the furniture around, and exercise alone. Let me tell you, I greatly admire all of you who do this on a daily basis. Namon is a HUGE support for me, and he helps motivate me when I’m not feeling it.

He keeps me honest too. I had to keep reminding myself to not slack just because I’m alone. When he’s doing it all with me I get competitive. By myself it is easier not to go as low, or as fast etc.

I did it! I did Triometrics, Ab Ripper X3, AND four push-ups for a push-ups challenge I’m doing with some friends. I did it because I have a good support of fitness folks who check in and help motivate me enough when Namon’s not here. I’m just saying it wasn’t easy and working out alone is a whole different beast! 

I’m gonna have to try harder next time Namon has to leave on a trip!

He comes home today, so I can ask him if I got abs while he was gone! 😉😋

Hope you have a productive Tuesday!!!

I don’t always wanna 


So… this photo was before this morning’s workout.

I don’t always WANT to do my workouts. Honestly, there are a LOT of mornings I just want to stay in bed. I LOVE my sleep. I never feel I have enough, and my natural inclination is to stay in bed.

I am lucky. I have Namon.

The benefits of a workout partner is having that person who will drag you through those days when you just. Don’t. Wanna.

There are mornings where I am the one with resolve. When it’s my turn, I insist that no, really, we should just get up and do it.

I think no matter how far you get in your goals, you will always have the day where you just don’t want to do it.

Those are the days you have to fight harder for your goals. You have to get up, put on your gear, tighten your shoes, and say I’m gonna do this.

I hope you have a Namon in your life. Maybe it isn’t a life partner. It could be a friend, a trainer, or a Beachbody coach. Who ever it is, I hope you have that support.

As a Beachbody coach, I’m happy to have MY support, so I can turn around and be that support for my clients!

How was your Saturday? Talk to me, I’m here to listen! I can even be that support if you need it!

Herschell Carrousel Factory Museum

Guys, I actually left the house today!!!

As I have mentioned in a previous post, I have recently moved to a new state and since I work from home it’s kinda hard to get out of the house.

I’m kind of an introvert who likes people. If left on my own, I’ll just stay in, but I miss human interaction. 

I still feel nervous when I finally GET human interaction.

 As if I’ve been stranded on a deserted island and have lost all ability to interact with my fellow humans. 

I’m a huge geek, I sing little ditties to my cat, and no one gets my references. I’m weird. I’m a little afraid it shows, so getting to know people is stressful.

Anyway, I finally met some new friends and they are both really nice, so when they invited me to go see the carrousel museum with them and their kiddos I was happy to accept.

Still nervous they would discover I’m weird, but happy!

I had never been to a carrousel museum! I thought it could end up being cute or creepy and I was pretty much up for either!

It was cute! It was small, but I got to see how some of the first carrousel horses were put together. I even got to ride on a lovely old carrousel, and boy was it booking!

I’m looking forward to getting out of the house again some day… (she says dramatically).

😊

I promise, I DO go out to do things like run errands. Namon takes me out for motorcycle rides. I am not being held prisoner. 

I’m just a very friendly homebody!

Hope you all had a good day! To wrap this post up, here is a giant rooster.